Safety in Numbers

Safety in Numbers | Conspirazzi

THE STARS MUST ALIGN

that is the only way out….stars taking their winter vacations on this tortured British Columbian land.

JCJ: Mel, you remember Randy Quaid and his whole “star whackers” conspiracy? Everyone laughed, but I think there was a seed of truth. Fame paints a target on your back.

Mel: Yeah, Joe. I remember. They said he went off the deep end, but the business does eat its own. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it.

JCJ: That’s why I’m telling you, there’s safety in numbers. All the stars — A-list, B-list, even Z-list reality show types — they can’t scatter themselves like sheep across Beverly Hills mansions. Easy pickings for the wolves. They should live together, one neighborhood, Hollywood North. Vancouver.

Mel: (chuckles) You want to herd celebrities like cattle? Put ‘em all in one pen?

JCJ: Not a pen — a fortress. A village. Actors, singers, directors. A community where everyone’s got each other’s back. If Randy was right, then paranoia alone isn’t enough. You need solidarity.

Mel: Solidarity, huh. Like a union, but with actual walls and guards instead of contracts and lawyers.

JCJ: Exactly. The suits can’t isolate and pick you off one by one if you’re side by side. One street where Clooney waters his lawn, Britney picks up her groceries, and even the Z-list reality stars walk their dogs. The predators don’t like crowds.

Mel: (leans back, thinking) A city of stars in exile. Hollywood North. Funny thing is, Vancouver already feels safer. Cleaner air, calmer streets. But you’d have to convince egos bigger than skyscrapers to share the same block.

JCJ: That’s where survival instinct kicks in, Mel. When people realize the wolves aren’t a metaphor, they’ll want the safety of the pack.

Mel: You might be onto something. Maybe Randy wasn’t crazy — maybe he was just alone.

JCJ: Exactly. No star should stand alone.